


From Afar

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Canon, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), I'll add more tags as this progresses, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Fluff, Langst, M/M, and has quite a few tropes that I very much wanted to happen during the season, it follows both boys, klance, klance angst, klance fluff, my take on it since the klance was missing, this is set during season 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 17:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12635613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: There's a saying out there, about hearts and distance, and those two variables having some sort of connection with fondness.Whether it be true or not, Lance finds himself tormented with Keith's absence from the team.And Keith, though busier now than he ever was before, still lies awake at night wondering what the hell is keeping him up.It seems that distance interferes more with the brain than the heart, because neither boy can shake the thought of the other as time goes on.It's almost as if...they were meant to love each other from afar.





	From Afar

**Author's Note:**

> Finally had time to finish this first part! and yes, I've decided to make it multi-chaptered, since I have no idea how long it will be and..yeah. That's about it. 
> 
> The fic is named after the song [From Afar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYUcqmpHJbk) (no kidding) by Vance Joy.  
> Definitely recommend listening to it. I cry.

 

_"You lined me up._  
_Across the room_  
 _Two falling sparks_  
 _One willing fool_  
 _And I, I always knew_  
 _That I would love you from afar."_

-Vance Joy 

 

There were very few things in Lance’s life that he regretted.

 

In fact, he could count the amount of times he’s wished he could go back on his right hand.

 

Once, when he was young and bored, he had climbed the mantle in his childhood home to reach an antique of his mother’s. To him it had been nothing more than a neat toy he was not allowed to touch, but as it tumbled from his grasp and shattered on the floor below, Lance had been quick to learn it was so much more than that.

 

His mother had cried for hours afterwards, and Lance would never forget how awful he had felt for being the reason behind those tears, regardless of it having been an accident.

 

Several years later, Lance had made the mistake of leaving the back gate open before running for the bus to school. It had been his job to ensure it was properly closed, but in his haste, he had neglected to check, and their family dog, having been with them for years, had wandered out onto the road.

 

Lance could still remember the way his siblings had all glared at him when they found out what had happened to Avocado.

 

At another point in his life, Lance’s biggest regret had been missing out on gaining a spot in the fighter class at the Garrison, and the letter that had informed him of his new status of ‘cargo pilot’; the letter that his parents would still proudly display on the fridge for everyone to see. To smile at and applaud him for.

 

As if cargo pilot was something to be proud of.

 

But that regret had more of a silver lining, and the day Lance had learned of the top student leaving due to a discipline issue was probably one of the happiest in his life, and he remembered the tears that had streamed down his mother’s cheeks when he had told her.

 

_I used to think those were tears of joy...now I’m not so sure._

 

Lance shook that thought from his head, going back to listing his more contrite moments.

 

Sneaking out that night from the Garrison definitely made the count, though that was more of a team effort than anything, and it wasn’t like he had been _planning_ on leaving Earth. All of that had happened so quickly...it couldn’t directly be his fault...right?

 

It would be easy to say that, given the chance, he would go back and change _that_ moment above all others, even just to get the chance to say goodbye. And for a long time Lance had been adamant about that being his top regret.

 

He was starting to think otherwise now.

 

_If only I had kept my stupid mouth shut..._

 

See, despite all those moments he had absolutely fucked up in his life, Lance always had an excuse.

 

He had been young.

 

He had been rushed.

 

He had been distracted.

 

He had been encouraged by the presence of his friends, and eager to prove himself in the face of his rival.

 

But in the end, his biggest, all-time _worst_ regret stemmed from the fact that he had been weak, and there was no one else to blame for that but himself.

 

See, the one thing Lance regretted the most since leaving Earth, joining an intergalactic space war millenias old, and trying his best to save every living thing in the universe without knowing what the next day would bring, was his discussion with Keith.

 

The one where he had let himself be vulnerable; shared his greatest fears and darkest thoughts.

 

He held out his pinky finger as he sat in the darkness of his room, tucked up against the corner with his blanket wrapped loosely around his feet.

 

The same pinky he had used to show Keith what he had meant: that he was the odd one out.

 

_And that Voltron was better off without me._

 

_Why...why did I tell him that!_

 

It had been nearly a month since Keith’s sudden decision to begin training with the Blade of Marmora. Nearly thirty days since he had up and left, leaving them all to wonder what his intentions were.

 

At first Lance hadn’t thought much of it. This was Keith afterall, and training was the equivalent to breathing for the guy, so why not take up some extra classes with some buff alien dudes? Lance would, given the opportunity, though he doubted he would get much learning in. Those suits were almost _too_ much at times.

 

And then there was the whole deal with having to be half-galra, which seemed a bit discriminative, but whatever.

 

_They can have their cool club,_ he remembered thinking. _I’ll start my own or something._

 

So Lance had shrugged when he heard the news, and hadn’t let it bother him.

 

As long as Keith was there to form Voltron when they needed, then what was the harm?

 

That had been his thought process before, but now Lance wasn’t so sure.

 

_Now...now I wish…_

 

Lance huffed out a sigh, hoping to expel the guilt slowly building in his gut. Keith’s decision had seemed perfectly normal at first. But the month that had gone by had held some of the longest days in Lance’s life.

 

Which was saying something, seeing as he was currently fighting a seemingly endless war in outer space, but as it turns out, Keith was one of the main sources of Lance’s entertainment.

 

His absence was entirely too noticeable, and even when he _was_ around the castle ship, Keith was distant.

 

Aloof.

 

There and yet...not.

 

And it was driving Lance insane.

 

He hadn’t been sure at first, why he was feeling the way he was. He just missed having someone to talk to. Someone to torment. Someone to simply stand beside whenever they had team meetings.

 

Keith had been an ever-present _something_ for Lance to turn to, and though he wasn’t sure what term to use exactly, rival, friend, leader...the point remained that Keith had been there.

 

And now he just wasn’t.

 

_It’s my fault…_

 

Lance curled in on himself, letting his head fall lightly to his knees as he tucked them to his chest. He recalled the moments leading up to Keith’s leaving: the prolonged absences during coalition duties. The late starts to their missions. The near misses that had eventually led to Shiro re-taking control of Black and piloting to their rescue.

 

And, admittedly, Lance had been a bit pissed.

 

Ok...maybe a lot pissed. Keith had no right to just toss them aside so easily. Voltron was supposed to come first. Not the Blades, no matter how important their work was.

 

Keith was supposed to be part of _their_ family, but apparently he didn’t feel the same.

 

Because he had made the decision to leave, and that had been that.

 

_I should have said something more…I should have tried to stop him!_

 

_But you didn’t_ , a voice whispered back, deep from the colder parts of his mind, and Lance shivered as the icy truth of the statement settled in his bones.

 

_I didn’t._

 

_And now he’s gone._

 

A month. Maybe more, maybe less. Time was hard to track in space. But Lance had a fairly good idea of how many nights Keith had been away. The castle was oddly quieter, which made no sense seeing as Keith hardly did anything to fill the silence.

 

But the fact remained: Lance had noticed a difference, and it was starting to eat away at him.

 

He glanced back down at his hands, holding his pinky finger up to his face and glaring at it.

 

“This is your fault,” he mumbled, his voice raspy from lack of use. He wasn’t sure what time it was, but knew the others had all drifted off to bed hours prior. For all he knew it was morning and he was still sitting in the darkness of his chambers.

 

But Lance couldn’t bring himself to care just then.

 

“This is your fault, and I shouldn’t have burdened Keith with my stupid insecurities and-” Lance broke off, his throat constricting with the threat of tears, and he dropped his hand down to the bed.

 

_I shouldn’t have said anything._

 

_And at the same time...I should have said so much more._

 

It was a confusing thought, but it made sense. Had Lance not opened up to Keith, told him how he was feeling about his place on the team and whatnot, then maybe...maybe things would be different.

 

Maybe Keith would still be around, leaning against the walls with his arms crossed moddily. Shooting half-smiles in Lance’s direction whenever Coran did something particularly odd.

 

Piloting Black and leading them all, like he had before Shiro had come back.

 

_But that wasn’t what he wanted._

 

Lance sighed again, and his head fell back against the wall with a soft thud.

 

_Keith didn’t want to lead. He made that clear._

 

_Which means it’s still my fault he left. I pilot Red. His lion. I was the one that took his spot._

 

Leading to him feeling as if he should have spoken up after hearing Keith’s plans to join the Blades full time.

 

_“-if there’s a bright side to any of this, it’s that my absence allowed Shiro to reestablish his bond with the Black Lion.”_ Lance recalled Keith’s words with perfect clarity; his reasoning for distancing himself from them. _“He can finally be the leader I was unable to be.”_

 

_But I liked_ you _as the leader!_

 

Lance hadn’t said those words though. He had remained silent for the most part, listening to Keith as he stood before them all, distinct in his Blades of Marmora suit.

 

_He looked better in red…_

 

_“I’m not meant to pilot the Black Lion.”_

 

And maybe that was true. Maybe Lance could admit that Shiro was better at it, in his own ways. But Keith hadn’t been terrible either. He had just needed more time to adjust.

 

But war and time weren’t concepts that usually went hand in hand. At least, not in the sense that Lance needed them to.

 

_Funny how this fight is ten-thousand years old, and yet each second is treated as indispensable._

 

Keith had gone on to explain about sources of quintessence and this _need_ to find Lotor, but in all honesty, Lance hadn’t really been listening. His mind had been elsewhere, replaying what Keith had said.

 

_“I’m not meant to pilot the Black Lion.”_

 

_No. You’re meant to pilot the Red one._

 

He should have said just that. Should have stepped forward, grabbed Keith by the shoulders and prevented him from turning away.

 

Should have opened his mouth and let the words out, declaring the truth and keeping Keith with them...with Voltron.

 

_But you didn’t,_ the voice said again.

 

_...But I didn’t._

 

And so it went that Lance’s list of regrets moved to two hands.

 

He was getting ahead of himself though. Keith leaving had been bad enough.

 

Keith leaving because of _him_ was infinitely worse.

 

_Why did I tell him!_

 

At the time he had simply been looking for someone to turn to; someone to tell him he was needed and...maybe give him some advice. Usually he relied on Hunk for those things, but for some reason he had decided to go to Keith.

 

Keith, who was their leader. Keith, who’s spot Lance had taken- _only, that wasn’t meant to be permanent._

 

And Keith, who had listened to him and, oddly enough, provided some comfort, in his own, weird way. It had been more than Lance had expected, and he had left Keith’s room feeling just a little bit better about things.

 

_Things were supposed to sort themselves out, like Keith said. ‘Leave the math to Pidge’ and all that._

 

_I had no idea he would take the fall himself!_

 

But he had, and as the days went on, Lance had noticed Keith stepping down from his position as their leader; edging away from it with both hands raised in favour of letting Shiro reclaim the spot. Only, Black hadn’t let Shiro in.

 

That had been Lance’s saving grace, really. With the head of Voltron refusing to allow Shiro as her pilot, Keith would remain their leader.

 

Would remain with them.

 

_With me._

 

It was a selfish thought; one Lance would never even fathom having beforehand. But with Keith’s absence, things just weren’t the same. In fact, everything seemed to be tilted sideways, like a painting sitting crooked on a hook.

 

Hunk and Pidge were always busy with something or other, Allura and Coran had their own problems to attend to, and Shiro...well, Shiro was just _off._ Lance couldn’t quite place it, but ever since the guy had returned, it had felt like a piece was missing; a connection gone wonky.

 

_Yeah, but that’s only because he nearly died. Again._

 

_Poor guy needs a vacation._

 

But aside from Shiro, Lance should have been used to the others being too busy to hang out. It wasn’t like that was anything new.

 

Only...without Keith around, Lance was left alone. Before he would have sought out the boy, seen what he was up to.

 

Training, most likely, since... _Keith,_ but there had been times when he would stumble upon the red paladin- _former red paladin-_ sitting at the table in the kitchens fiddling with his knife. Or else just gazing out one of the many windows around the castle.

 

And Lance wouldn’t approach loudly, or start the conversation with a joke or a jab. Well, _sometimes_ he would, but then, other times, he would simply slide into the spot next to Keith and wait for the boy to acknowledge him.

 

If Keith felt like it, they would talk, and if not, then Lance would sit in silence and enjoy the company of his rival.

 

_Former rival._

 

_Keith’s and me...we’re bros now._

 

Or had been, but then Keith had just left. And bros don’t do that to bros! Now who was Lance supposed to seek out when he was bored? Who would he go to when he wanted some peace and quiet, or a deep conversation about how much they missed bread!

 

Lance had been foolish to take advantage of those moments with Keith, because now he was gone,and it was his fault, and who knew when he would back! More than bread, more than garlic knots, and at times even more than the beach...Lance missed _Keith!_ Like, almost impossibly so.

 

It was like a part of him had been taken away; one he hadn’t known he had freely given until Keith had up and left.

 

_I don’t even have a way to contact him-_

 

_Wait._

 

_Wait….I do!_

 

Lance jumped out of bed, wincing as his bare feet made contact with the cold floor, and darted over to his dresser where he kept the small tablet Pidge and Hunk had designed for them all. It worked as a phone of sorts, though not the smart phones Lance had grown accustomed to back on Earth. It functioned more like a vintage flip phone, with features such as calling, messaging, and the ability to take pictures.

 

Oh, and it had holographic capabilities as well as a fully-functional touch screen.

 

Just basic stuff; the typical.

 

Lance scooped it up in his hands, jumping back on his bed and tucking his blanket back over his feet with a shiver. He only ever used his tablet, which Pidge and Hunk had so lovingly dubbed ‘Space Nokias’, for photos. If ever he was to go back to Earth, which he planned on very much, then he wanted to show his family all the incredible places he had been; had travelled to and saved.

 

He also had everyone’s contact codes, though the only person he actively sent messages to was Hunk, and those were just dumb phrases or goodnight texts. There was no need to use that part of the phone when everyone was in the same place. Plus, with their helmets connecting them to the rest of the team, added forms of communication were wholly unnecessary.

 

_Which is why I forgot about it until now!_

 

Lance stared down at the orange rectangle in his hands, flipping through the codes until the one with Keith’s name beside it popped up. His finger hovered over the digits; suddenly hesitant.

 

_What if he doesn’t wanna talk to me?_

 

_He’s probably super busy…_

 

_Plus it’s pretty late-early? What the hell time is it even!_

 

_Maybe I shouldn’t…_

 

But the last time Lance faltered when it came to Keith, the boy ended up leaving them for a month. Lance couldn’t take that risk again.

 

He couldn’t add yet another regret to his list. So with that in mind, he pressed down.

 

And four seconds later he hung up.

 

_I can’t do this! What will I even say?!_

 

_‘Hey Keith, what’s up...oh? It’s three am? Ha, who knew!”_

 

_Fuck…_

 

Lance groaned, falling back onto his bed with a thump. He stared at the tablet; Keith’s code still ready and waiting on the screen, and rubbed his eyes as he thought.

 

_It’s not unusual to want to call someone who’s been away for so long. Not weird at all! I used to call Hunk all the time, even if he was just gone for an afternoon!_

 

_So...it can’t be any different for Keith, right?_

 

_We’re friends. Surely he wouldn’t mind…_

 

But then another thought struck him: Keith had his tablet with him. Allura had made sure that he packed it in case they needed to reach him in an emergency.

 

So far they hadn’t had to, what with the coalition and numerous dinner parties taking up the majority of their time. The fight with the Galra had sort of taken a brief back-seat as team Voltron focused on gathering allies.

 

And aside from scheduled meetings between them and the Blades, Keith hadn’t really made an effort to stay in touch with the castle, at least, as far as Lance knew.

 

_What if he want’s nothing to do with us anymore?_

 

It was upsetting to consider, but as Lance sat there moping, wondering what Keith could possibly be thinking, he decided it was best to just find out once and for all. Keith was part of their team, whether he liked it or not.

 

That was just a fact. And even if Lance was piloting his lion now, he knew Red missed her original paladin. He could feel it every time he sat down at her controls.

 

_Or maybe those are just my emotions being amplified back-_

 

_No. It’s definitely Red._

 

Keith would want to hear how his Lion is doing, surely. And they could always talk mission stuff if topics ran short.

 

It may not be an emergency situation, but Lance figured contacting Keith _should_ be something he do. Just to...check in. Make sure he’s eating right, and getting enough sleep.

 

_If you were worried about him sleeping then maybe you shouldn’t call him so late-_

 

_Shut it brain. Let me have this._

 

Lance sat up with a stern nod, mind made up. He would call Keith. Talk to him for a bit.

 

The idea alone was already calming him down; easing the weight that had been collecting on his shoulders over the past few weeks.

 

He just...really needed to hear Keith’s voice. There was nothing strange about that, right? He was just ensuring he didn’t forget what the guy sounded like.

 

_As if I could forget that grumpy pants tone._

 

_Or the way he makes those little scoffs right before beginning an argument with me._

 

Lance found himself smiling at the memories, and gathered up his blanket around him more snuggly before tapping on Keith’s contact code once more. He could do this. He just needed to stop overthinking it.

 

_It’s just a phone call._

 

But as the minutes dragged on with no response, the dial tone filling the silence in his room...Lance found it more and more difficult to take a proper breath. Each unanswered ring was brick on his chest, until it was almost too painful to inhale.

 

It was when he heard the standard message informing him to leave a brief report- _of course they called it a report. Everything is business all the time up in space-_ that he took a deep lungful of air, and waited for the signal.

 

**_Beep._ **

 

A pause, and then all at once Lance was talking.

 

“Uh...hi. Hey, just me calling...um, Lance that is. Pilot of the Blue-erm, Red Lion.”

 

_Oh god what the hell was that?!_

 

He kept going though, the words falling from his lips like a domino effect.

 

“Just checking in, or whatever. Haven’t heard from you in a while, so, you know...you still alive?” he chuckled then, but the sound didn’t feel right. It was hollow and emotionless; a common trend since Keith left it seemed, so Lance cleared his voice and continued.

 

“Anyway, I totally forgot we had these phone things, right? So I was just sitting here, um...well it doesn’t matter what I was doing-”

 

_Smooth. Real smooth._

 

“-but I figured it would be sort of cool to call and just chat, maybe? For a bit? I mean, _clearly_ you’re sleeping, or away from the phone, or...dead.” Lance had never liked that word, and even as he said it, his mind supplied a colourful collection of scenarios in which Keith could have met his demise. He tried to shove them from his mind, and succeeded for the most part, though he knew he would be revisited by the visions later on in his sleep.

 

_Great. Just what I needed._

 

He cleared his throat again, finding it increasingly difficult to maintain any semblance of composure as he went on.

 

“Please don’t be dead. I think I would miss you too much-” Lance broke off then, not having realized how the words came out until it was too late. He backpedalled, hoping to salvage the message and not embarrass himself further. “I mean, _we_ would miss you. Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Allura, Coran...uh, the mice, maybe? Probably. I always see them eyeing up your hair, likely hoping to make a nest out of it.”

 

_Oh god just end this!_

 

“Uh, anywho...I should let you go..or, um. I mean _I_ should go, since you didn’t pick up. Not that I blame you for that. Nothing wrong with a missed call. Happens all the time, right? Uh... _jesus_ , I’m hanging up now. This is-okay, yeah. Bye Keith. Send me a text if you want, or not. Up to you.” Lance groaned audibly, then slammed a hand over his mouth.

 

_Ah fuck it. This message is already a trainwreck._

 

“Ok bye for real this time. Don’t be a stranger!” He quickly hung up after that, slamming his finger so hard on the screen that it flashed white momentarily. He then chucked it across his bed, where it bounced a few times before settling face down on the mattress.

 

_WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?_

 

Lance fell back down on the bed, shoving his face in his hands as embarrassment coursed through his veins.

 

_Jesus christ that was terrible! If Keith had plans on calling, I doubt he’ll go through with them after that!_

 

“That’s it,” he grumbled, rolling over onto his side and cradling his pillow to his chest. “I’m never making a phone call again. They invented texting for a reason.”

 

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the cringe away.

 

_Maybe he won’t even get the message. Like, accidentally delete it or something._

 

_I’ve seen Keith around technology. He’s like an old woman learning to use Facebook._

 

_Yeah...maybe…_

 

The thought brought Lance some comfort, though it was short-lived. Even if his voicemail had been awkward and terrible and blackmail worthy material for Keith to use whenever, he found himself not caring so much as the minutes ticked on.

 

Even if Keith called back and all he did was mock Lance and laugh at him through the tablet, then it would sort of be worth it.

 

_When was the last time I heard Keith laugh even?_

 

_Wait,_ have _I heard Keith laugh?!_

 

He glanced over at where the device was still lying discarded on his bed, and with a heave, reached across the blanket to pick it up again. There were no new messages awaiting him, which was altogether disheartening, but Lance could give it some time.

 

And he did. Nearly forty-five minutes to be exact. After that his eyes grew heavy, and as Lance adjusted his pillow to sit beneath his head instead of at his side, the exhaustion tumbled down on him like the waves of the ocean.

 

He tried to keep his eyes open, but to no avail, and soon found himself drifting in and out of sleep with his tablet still firmly in his grasp.

 

_I don’t think Keith will be calling back,_ his groggy mind supplied unhelpfully, but Lance no longer had the energy for optimism. _I think I scared him away._

 

_Wouldn’t the first time Keith’s left because of me._

 

It wasn’t the most agreeable thought to doze off to, but as Lance’s eyes shut with a finality that begged for sleep, it was the one that stuck around. And as his body sank deeper into the mattress, pulling him down to the nightmares that lay waiting, his fingers loosened their hold on his phone. It tumbled down the side of his bed, so that even as the screen lit up with an incoming call, he couldn’t see it; couldn’t hear it.The screen went dark again shortly thereafter, and remained dark for the duration of the night, with no indication of a message having been left.

 

Whoever had called hadn’t bothered with a voicemail. And the tablets hadn’t been designed to save missed calls.

 

It was almost as if no one had phoned at all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will contain TONS of fluff, so just bare with me for a bit, ok?
> 
>  
> 
> [My tumblr](https://www.vulpes--vulpes@tumblr.com)


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